Saturday, August 30, 2008

The night I wished I was a Terminator.

Yesterday after work I wasn't so tired, but still - I just wanted to go home and rest. Instead of a rest I got some domestic bullshit. It was too much and I wanted some time on my own.

I went out with no idea at all, I just needed to be OUT of there. At this time I had nobody to call and go out with, but at least Minka the dog hear me on the stairs and came with me. We had a walk around the neighbourhood. Then I sat near one of the windows of a shopping mall where the light was good and took out a book, some Bulgarian sci-fi from the early 80s. I read one story and then we continued with our walk. Then I came back to the same place and read another story. Then we continued with our walk... somehow this whole thing reminded me of the night in Prague I spent with Mesut and Gosia. Since I didn't have any dinner I went on the main street and got a sandwitch from one of the fast food places around. Finished it and continued down the street...

The main street, there are bars and discos in the alleys around... I heard shouting, and I see sillhouettes under the light of a street lamp. A man is on the ground, another man, big one, is coming and kicking the hell out of him. I mean, he was kicking this guy's head like it was a football. For a second I hesitate - Should I go on? But still I go. There's another man, trying to reason with the big one, Stop! You'll kill him, look at him, do you want to kill him or what? Yea, I'll kill this stupid sucker! Messing with me, fucking junkie! And there's a woman as well, they say He's not a junkie he'a our colleague, stop, what the hell are you doing? I walk by, I think the big one says something about this other one messing with his wife or something?! I couldn't really hear, my attention was all at the body on the street - poor guy was there uncouscious and there was blood around him. For another second I hesitated - maybe I should interfere? But I didn't. Not that I was scared, just this big one was taller than me, let alone 3 times my size, I'm not exactly huge... What could I do? Reason with him like the othes? Getting kicked around wouldn't help. I continued down the street, but after 5 meters, just enough for the big one not to hear me I diled the police and told them where exactly I am and that there's a fight and one guy's on the ground bleeding. Told them to send and ambulance as well. Walked down the street for another 20 meters, and went back. Expencive cars were parked there, like BMW custom made wheels, and white Hummer with expencive tunning... Cars like this you cannot buy with what you earn with honest labour. At least not around here. Not where I come from. I just know it, some criminal types were around for sure, probably hanging out at some disco... like 1 minute later I was back and the big one was gone. The others were trying to help that kicked-in-the-head guy. One of them was shouting on the phone - I am paying my fucking taxes and I demand an ambulance now, cause there is a man on the ground, bleeding and in need of help RIGHT NOW, not in 5, not in 10 minutes RIGHT NOW and if you dont come immediately I'll come there and sue the crap out of your lazy asses you stupid bitch!!! Private security came, 2 minutes later the police was there. I just stayed and watched, I was interested to see their reaction. People are complaining from the police in general. But on the other hand, pepole are complaining of just about anything. The cops came quickly, but I wonder if they came quick enough. And what would they do wafter they came. The woman told them that some guards or policemen chased the big one down the street and told them what he looked like. the other one was still shouting that he was paying taxes. OK, we're paying taxes as well, right? the guards said. So why dot you calm down and explain what happened? the woman was tellin them that the other one was some drunk psyco, who brawled and attacked for some stupid thing, like bumping into him in the disco or something... Then one of the policemen looked at me and said Is that your dog? Yeah. Why it's not on a leash? Well, it's not exactly MY dog you see, we take care for her at our block of flats and she just follows me... So keep her away from here! and since I didnt want any troubles with them I just walked away with Minka.

I couldnt describe the big guy, except that he was big, short black hair and orange shirt. It was dark and I'm short sighted. I couldn't tell more than what they already knew - kicking the other one in the head, beating the crap out of him... Didnt tell them that I called, but what does it matter?

I wasn't scared. I wasn't excited. I was just curious what would happen with the big one, and if the other one really did nothing to provoke him. I walked away and I thought that I wish I was some Terminator, fucking metal robot - shoot him, beat him, burn him, smash him and he's still functioning. If you damage him too bad he can repair himself later. No feelings, no pain. I wish I was like this, indesctructible. I would go out and beat the crap of just about anybody who deserves it. You mess with him, or with the otheres and you get your ass kicked.

That's anotehr reason why I want to make movies - there you can do whatever you want. Be whoever you want. Give the bad guys what they deserve. Inspire the people who watch the movie.

Then I went back to that lighted place by the shopping mall and continued reading...

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